I, like many of my single girlfriends, have been eagerly anticipating the opening of the new movie, "He's Just Not That Into You." Great cast, great book, great previews, story of our lives - what is there not to be excited about, especially with a not-so-fun-holiday just around the corner? This was one movie I wanted to go to opening weekend.
Now, let me preface this by saying I rarely get riled up by movies. This is very unusual. Plus, I can usually let negative things in movies slide. What's alarming to me in this movie is that the message is so blatant and romanticized. Keep reading for more on that.
HJNTIY follows several characters around in their quest for "true love." One girl never receives call backs from dates, one wants her live-in boyfriend to marry her, another is searching. There are many positive elements to the film - open, honest, and caring friendships, the encouragement for singles to be who they are. It has several funny lines, and it's easy to get swept up by the feel-goodness of it.
However, the negative elements:
1. Neil, who is living with his girlfriend Beth, comments that they don't need to be married because married people can't be trusted, and that the only reason people get married is because they have something to "prove to others."
2. Later, Neil tells Beth that they are more committed than married people and he's more of a husband than the others. They don't need marriage. She agrees. Now, there is a somewhat redeemable ending, but it doesn't reverse the message given just moments before.
3. Sex - this is, of course, common in movies today. It's everywhere, and every couple is doing it, and usually immediately into the relationship. Granted, everyone is looking for a meaningful, intimate relationship (which is positive), but it appears that type of relationship is to be attained by the physical.
4. Ben and Janine are a married couple. At first, it looks like they have a solid marriage. The Ben meets Anna, and she immediately catches his eye. Anna's friend tells her to pursue Ben even though he's married, saying, "many married people realize they belong with someone else." Ben does hold out on Anna briefly, claiming marriage (positive), but the next thing we see is them in bed together. They continue their affair, even after Ben has admitted it to his wife.
5. Not a single husband in the movie is portrayed in a positive light. Ben has an affair and is made out to be a liar. Beth's brothers-in-law are shown being lazy slobs that don't help out around the house.
I know, these things aren't necessarily new in entertainment. Although, off the top of my head, I can't think of a movie where an affair was essentially positively portrayed, and marriage not really uplifted. It was like the movie version of Cosmopolitan magazine.
What struck me the most was the audience reaction. Our large theatre was filled with women, and many, many teenage girls. In one scene, Ben and Anna are about to have sex when Ben's wife interrupts them (unknowingly). Anna hides, and Janine tries to seduce Ben. She asks Ben if he wants to save their marriage, and he tentatively says yes. At that moment, I heard many girls gasp and say "no!" showing they would rather see Ben continue his affair with Anna. When Neil states he's more of a husband than a real husband and that they don't need marriage, I heard the girls cheer and clap. Sure, they're clapping because Neil and Beth were getting back together, but there's more to it.
Is this the message we want to portray to our young women? Where is the sanctity of marriage? In an age where young women are already very sexually active, the message is "marriage is not a necessity, marriage does not have to be forever because it's ok if you find someone better, and sex while dating is fine and encouraged." With movies like this, how in the world do we expect solid marriages to happen? Our young women are going to pursue relationships like the ones in the movie and others, thinking it's normal, only to find emptyness.
More than ever we, as a society, need to showing what a committed marriage looks like. Kudos to you in youth ministry because I believe there is no greater need right now than for godly men and women of integrity to step up and guide our youth. You have an enormous, but not an impossible task!
Blow it off as another fun movie if you want. It's easy to do if you're mature in your convictions and beliefs. But realize there is another whole generation and culture that does not have stability at home, and is turning to their Hollywood role models for direction in life. This is why "He's Just Not That Into You" is really a movie I'm just not into - at all.
1 comment:
I have to say, and this is not just an "I knew it," but I vaguely remember when that book came out and got the same general reviews (from those with similar morals). I didn't remember details, and I don't think I ever read the book, but I think I thumbed through it once when a student was reading it. Anyway, when this movie came out and started getting buzz, I recognized the title and didn't immediately think much about it. Meaning, it wasn't a coherent thought, necessarily, but somewhere in my head I was really surprised that Fox was interviewing so many involved because I didn't remember it being that fabulous, know what I mean? And, as with most literature, they have to add in so many visual innuendos to make their money. Sad, really. More sad that Jen Aniston is in it. Although, that doesn't say much, I guess.
Glad to hear your thoughts and I'll be sure not to waste my time. Now, as for the other movie you said you saw today (tonight?), I haven't heard a thing about it. Can you say a few words here? We're not big theatre go-ers right now. The right movie, though, and we're willing to go in spurts. :)
Love the updates--- keep 'em coming!
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